Welcome to another edition of Leadership Insights where I share interviews I have done with other leaders.
Recently, I interviewed John G. Miller, the founder of QBQ! Inc, author of the book QBQ! The Question Behind The Question: Practicing Personal Accountability At Work And In Life (This is an affiliate link. If you click on it and purchase an item, I get a small commission), and professional speaker. If you couldn’t tell by the title of his book, John preaches and lives personal responsibility.
John took valuable time out of his day to answer my questions and the questions of a few readers. Reading through his answers, I was excited to share his insights with you. I hope you’ll enjoy reading the interview as much as I had conducting it.
Q1: Your book, QBQ! The Question Behind The Question, is all about personal accountability. How does the concept of personal accountability relate to the role of a leader?
John G. Miller: Personal accountability is prerequisite for being a leader! How can I lead others if I am pointing fingers, blaming, whining, procrastinating, and playing victim? I cannot. In QBQ!, we define leadership as the “moment by moment disciplining of my thinking” and that’s what leaders do: They shape, control, and work to enhance the way they think. And the healthier the thinking, the more apt we are to demonstrate accountability to those around us.
Q2: What are a few ways a leader can develop or accept more personal accountability?
JGM: Developing it comes from the mental discipline we speak of above—and simply by learning the QBQ! methodology. QBQ! is a tool that enables us to resist the trap of blame and victim thinking by asking QBQs like, “How can I help solve the problem?” and “What can I do to contribute?” That’s leadership! The accepting of accountability—also a learned kill-comes from working into our minds and verbal habits the idea and phrase NO EXCUSES! This simple but powerful personal “mantra”—when committed to—makes anyone a leader!
Q3: There are large segments of our culture that hasn’t grasped this concept. What can we as leaders do to encourage others to practice personal accountability?
JGM: Two things: Practice it ourselves. As we say in QBQ!, “Modeling is the most powerful of all teachers!” We should never expect others to be accountable—especially our staff or children—when we aren’t! Also, train people. That’s why my firm—QBQ, Inc. —exists. We help organizations train their people to use QBQ! so they can practice personal accountability at work and at home! As we teach in our newest book Parenting the QBQ Way, we say it all begins with mom and dad. And at work, it begins with a manager committing to being accountable and training others to be accountable.
Q4: For those leaders who don’t hold the title of leader, whether in business or other areas of life, how can they stand up and say they’re a leader?
JGM: Saying it doesn’t make it so. Ben Franklin said this about pride: “Even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I would probably be proud of my humility.” The essence of effective leadership is humility. In fact, we teach in my book Outstanding! 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional, the best organizations have a streak of humility running right through them—and they demonstrate this t their customers. So I’ve never seen a real leader have to say that they are a leader. As Nike says, JUST DO IT!
Q5: I really liked chapter 37 in QBQ! titled We Buy Too Many Books. How do we translate knowing what to do into doing what we know?
JGM: Well, I could quote Nike again, but I won’t. This is really about mental conditioning and disciplining of thought. If I know I should stop interrupting people during conversation, then I must override that lifelong desire and developed bad habit with self-talk that enables me to choose to bite my tongue, be patient, count to ten. We can do that which we know to do—if we want to.
Q6: Brandon Gilliand asks: In society today, teenagers… especially guys, are not standing for anything. What do you think about the current state of young leaders and what can be done to solve the problem?
JGM: It needs to be modeled by other “leaders,” like any President of the United states demonstrating a NO EXCUSES! approach to the Oval Office. But then coaches, teachers, and parents, too. Blame and victim thinking are so ingrained into the fabric of our society it’s hard to find a role model anywhere who simply practices personal accountability in all things. Remember, modeling is the most powerful of all teachers!
But also, there’s this: The problem you mention is directly related to poor parenting and the break-up of the family. The loss of strong fathers and strong family values has caused young man to go astray. This is exactly why my wife, Karen, and I just published Parenting the QBQ Way. We need to bring personal responsibility back to the family!
Q7: Brandon Gerrard asks: You shared a great story about a waiter who went above and beyond to serve you a diet Coke. The waiter took on quite a bit of personal accountability to get you your drink. Is there a point where you can go too far, possibly interfering with your job duties or other responsibilities?
JGM: Certainly. That’s why in the same book we have a chapter on “boundaries.” Serving and helping are great things, but we can go too far. Managers should not adopt poor performers. Colleagues should not cover for each other’s mistakes. Parents should not enable their children. There are many gray areas here, but suffice it to say we want to be accountable, we need to own problems—but we can’t own them all!
Question: How are applying personal accountability to your life? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.