At one point or another, every leader has been burned by a relationship they’ve been involved it.
The souring of a business relationship, the pain and rejection felt at the ending of a romantic relationship, feelings of betrayal when an employee defects to another business. We’ve all been there and felt the sting.
Image by Brad Montgomery
There are those who will face the slight with an unforgiving heart. Resolving to hold onto the pain and use it against anyone and everyone who may do them harm.
They think this will protect them. Building a wall and barrier between them and the hurt or possibility of hurt.
Instead, they’re creating a heart of bitterness. Pushing people and opportunities away while holding on to past wrongs.
Andy Andrews discusses why we must be willing to greet the new day with a forgiving spirit as the sixth decision for success in The Traveler’s Gift.
Why We Must Have A Forgiving Spirit
You may think having a forgiving spirit will do nothing for you as a leader. You couldn’t be more wrong. Having a forgiving spirit can help you move to the next level of leadership.
When you’re unforgiving, you’re creating a bitter fruit. Your countenance changes and you begin turning people off.
You also run through the situation multiple times in your mind. Creating thoughts and, sometimes, actions to a deed that was done in jest or without any intention of malice. The target of your negative thoughts usually has moved on or doesn’t even know he’s slighted you.
Since your target doesn’t realize you’re angry with them, you’re placing yourself into solitary confinement.
Forgiveness Is A Gift
That’s right, I said forgiveness is a gift. It’s one you can give freely and without regret.
Forgiveness brings about a sense of peace. You’ve given the person you’ve held a grudge against release. And you’ve also given yourself this gift.
In the end, the bitterness you hold against someone is destroying your life, not theirs. Take the gift you can give yourself and forgive others.
How To Give Forgiveness
You may be thinking I’ll tell you to go and tell the person who has offended you that you forgive them. You’d be wrong. You don’t have to do this. Unless you feel it’s needed and you must do it.
Instead, you can release them in your mind. Go through the list of those who have wronged you in your mind. Make a mental note of who they are and what they did. Do you have a picture?
Good! Now release them. Offer them forgiveness and wipe the memory from your mind. Tell yourself you won’t hold the past actions against the offending party anymore.
One thing to remember with forgiveness, it’s not always a once and done process. There will be times when you’ll have to daily forgive the past actions of someone who has hurt you. If that’s the case, offer the forgiveness daily. Keep at it. It’s worth it in the end.
Question: Is there anyone you need to forgive today? How has this unforgiveness affected your life? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.