What do you think of when you think about the most important relationships in your life? You might think you have to pour everything into your business relationships. Or it may be your child’s life. It might even be the friends you have.
I want you to think about the most significant relationship in your life that gets ignored. You may be surprised by what I think it is. Yet, if statistics are correct, it gets overlooked more than any other, ending in the dissolution of the relationship.
The most significant, most important relationship that we ignore, especially as leaders, is the relationship at home with our spouse.
When you choose to get married, you commit to this person for life. If you’re a Christian, you commit to this relationship in front of God and covenant with Him.
If this is the case and you’ve made a commitment to your spouse, why do so many marriages end in divorce? It’s because we’re not paying enough attention to the one we say is important to us. We place our priorities in other areas.
It’s not right. That’s why I want to share 5 ways to strengthen your marriage amidst leadership demands. Those demands require so much from us that we lose sight of what’s important. Of why we’re actually working.
5 Ways To Strengthen Your Marriage Amidst The Demands Of Leadership
The demands of leadership take us away from our family members. Whether it’s traveling to visit new clients, teaching others, or preparing for a multitude of responsibilities, our spouses often get the shaft when it comes to our time and commitment to our marriage.
We know it needs to change. But what are we doing about it? What are we doing to change our minds and hearts?
I’ve found 5 ways to strengthen my marriage despite leading in multiple arenas. I believe these ways will transfer to you as well.
1. Create regular date nights:
One of the things that I’ve tried to do (but still fail) is to create regular date nights or days with my wife. These are times we just spend together, whether it’s a day hanging out in Grand Rapids or a movie (I know, this counts as work), or a weekly walk around the neighborhood.
Spending time with your spouse is important. Spending it regularly with them is even more critical.
Create a date rhythm in your marriage.
2. Pray regularly with your spouse:
If you’re a believer, you know the power of prayer. Prayer connects you to God, but it can also connect you with your spouse.
When you go to God in prayer, you can ask your spouse what they need prayer for. This is an opportunity for you to come alongside your spouse and pray with them.
There’s something powerful when there’s trust to share a struggle and you step up to rally around them.
3. Have non-negotiables:
It’s not popular, but there have to be non-negotiables in your marriage. This could be the amount of trips you take for business, how many nights you’re away from the home, or how early you go into the office.
When you create these non-negotiables, you show your spouse that their input and presence matter. You’re saying, “Yes, the business is important but so are you.”
Make sure you’ve communicated your non-negotiables to your spouse, and they’ve communicated theirs to you.
For example, when Pam and I got married, a non-negotiable in our relationship was that we would attend church together on Sundays. I had a job that wouldn’t allow us to do this. I had a choice to make and the job lost out.
What are your non-negotiables?
4. Hold family business meetings:
I’m terrible at this, but I love the idea behind it. I talked with Mark Timm from Ziglar Family. He shared how he transformed his family by treating it like a business.
Timm and his family hold regular business meetings. These are times they come together to discuss important family topics, figure out their future, and other family matters.
Think about holding family business meetings. It may just change your whole family.
5. Make space for the unexpected events of life:
Life is full of the unexpected. That’s why so many times we lose track of ourselves and our families. There’s only so much time in the day and we lose much of that time to the unexpected and urgent.
Take back that time. Make room not only for date nights, make room for the unexpected.
By allowing yourself breathing room in your schedule, you can attend to family emergencies, the kid’s soccer game, or a spouse’s need for you to be with them.
Strengthen Your Marriage
There’s a lot that goes into leading. There’s more that goes into leading your family. You have to prioritize your marriage. If you don’t, you may find yourself divorced.
Use the methods above to strengthen your marriage. You’ll find you start to enjoy time with your spouse because you’re giving them the attention they crave. You’ll also find that your family unit is strengthened because you and your spouse have a stronger relationship.
Lead well but don’t neglect your marriage to do so. You can lead well and strengthen your marriage.