Why You Should Spend Less Time Talking

It’s often been said people won’t care what you have to say until they know how much you care. While a short quote, this little statement speaks volumes to the power of feeling cared for.

I believe one of the best ways we can show others we care is by talking less.

Is it time to shut your mouth?

Image by David Geohring

But how can this be? Can we really show others we care when we zip our lips?

In a recent Success Magazine article, Adam Sher, CEO of Ryan Seacrest Productions, said this about Ryan:

Ryan listens to what people are saying and has an uncanny ability to understand where they’re coming from and what they really want. In meetings, he spends much more time listening and taking notes than he does talking.

From the same article, Larry King says this about Seacrest:

What To Do When Tragedy Strikes

Every leader will face tragedy at one point or another. It could be the death of a parent or a spouse. Maybe it’s an illness. Who knows what you’ll face but you’ll face it one day.

And since tragedy will strike every leader at one point, the same holds true for your team. Each and every member of your team will have tragedy rear it’s ugly face.

But what do great leaders do when tragedy strikes? That’s the million dollar question.

Kid crying

Image by Binu Kumar

Recently one of our local high school’s marching bands faced a terrible tragedy. Bass drummer Joey Hekkema passed away after battling two rare genetic disorders.

Joey’s immune system was compromised by chronic Neutropenia and hyperIGM. It was a tough battle but he fought it valiantly.

Turning Hecklers Into Fans

You and I have heard the advice that we should silence the critics. Ignore what the hecklers are saying. Move onto the next great thing we’re going to do.

Recently, I had this mindset rocked.

A great big reminder was dropped into my lap letting me know that the hecklers still matter. They still count. And we can help turn the hecklers into fans.

Image by Jesus Gorriti

Image by Jesus Gorriti

This rocking of my mindset occurred at a little taco joint during a lunch break with co-workers. We’d been seated by our waiter when he mentions that I looked familiar.

He’d looked familiar to me also but I hadn’t had a chance to say anything. It turns out that he was a former student in our youth group that hadn’t been there in ages.

While he wasn’t a bad kid, per say, he wasn’t a model youth group student. In fact, he was a heckler (his own words).

Words Will Fail You

Humans communicate so much through the words they use. We use Twitter, Facebook updates, text messages, blog posts, speech.

There is so much effort poured into the words we say. Sadly, at one point or another, words will fail you. Situations will arise where words are meaningless.

Worn out man, words have failed him

Image by Lucas Incas

I found this to be true during and after my wife and I had to make the difficult choice to put our dog down. People tried to comfort us with their words.

We heard:

You’ll feel better over time

You made the right choice

You did what needed to be done

You loved him and he loved you

You know, all of those words were true. Things have gotten better. We believe we made the right choice. We believe we did what had to be done. And we sure did love him.

How To Live A More Meaningful Life

At one point or another we all struggle to determine what makes our life meaningful.

Is it a fancy car? The biggest home we can afford? Or the prettiest wife on our arm?

In the end, those things won’t leave you feeling fulfilled and satisfied. Chasing after these trivial matters will leave you wishing you lived a more meaningful life.

But I know something that will.

The Problem

Most people go through life following the flow. They have no plans or goals. They’re willing to go where life takes them.

They could care less.

And there’s the problem. When people stop caring, they stop living a meaningful life.

I was one of those people for quite some time.

I’d decided I wasn’t going to care about life. I’d take it as it came. There would be no chance for disappointment.