If you are someone who struggles to manage your fears, stress, or anxieties, the issue might not necessarily be to do with the fact that you are a stressful person, but more that you are feeling overwhelmed by the conflict that life provides. Lots of people feel like they can’t get what they want because they are not able to put themselves across in the right way which makes them feel like they are confident and assertive. Assertiveness is something that everybody should be able to achieve, and it’s not because we need to be bullish, but it’s about putting across what we want and actually feeling like we get what we deserve. What does it take to be more assertive in your life?
Start Small and Simple
If you are struggling to find an assertive voice, you need to begin with the smaller things. Lots of people think about being assertive as being in relation to big conflicts. It can bring to mind massive court-based arguments. This can be put into practice in settings beyond our control. For example, if you have thought, can I still sue after a settlement? It is possible to do so, but actually asking for your fair share of the pie might seem like a big task, which is why when it comes to asserting yourself, you always start with the smaller things in life. If there is something bugging you, perhaps you wouldn’t normally take something back to the store after you bought it, this is the perfect place to practice your assertiveness. Over time, you can put yourself first, and eventually, if the time comes that you need to put yourself in a dramatic courtroom setting, you will have spent the time building up your stamina in being assertive in those small settings.
Learn to Say “No”
You might be guilty of being a people pleaser, and if you feel like taking more than your lion’s share helps others, it’s important to understand when you take priority over others. If there is too much on your plate, learning to say “no” can work wonders for you. Learning to say it is very tough to begin with, and you may find that you will encounter people that you know very well being affronted by it, but this is when you have to ask yourself if those people are actually worth having in your life. Those people who encourage your abilities to say “no” are the real people you should have in your life.
Be to the Point
The whole point of being assertive is about telling the other person how you feel, and it’s important that we don’t leave room for misinterpretation. When you tell someone how you are feeling by using “I feel” or “I think,” this leaves very little wiggle room for coming across as aggressive. After all, there is a big difference between assertiveness and confidence than being aggressive and confident.
It’s something that we should all know how to access, but being assertive is a great practice to ensure that you can stand your ground.