Your Career Success Is Not Worth This

Imagine this… You’ve risen to the top of your field. You’re admired by your peers. The bank account is flush with cash. You’re successful.

To those around you, it appears you’ve reached the pinnacle of success. There’s not much more you can do or higher you can go.

You’re a success.

But your coworkers, employer, and those around you don’t see what success has cost you. 

As you leave the office, you hang your head in shame. You know you’re going home to a once vibrant house that is now silent. There’s no one to greet you when you arrive home.

The pitter-patter of feet you crave to hear is now at another house with your ex. They’ve moved out and moved on. They even took the dog.

This may sound like a bad country song, but this is the reality for far too many high-achieving professionals. 

Your Career Success Is Not Worth This

Years ago, you remember looking longingly into the eyes of your beloved. You’re promising to love, cherish, and honor them. You see a lifetime of hope and joy coming your way.

Then, your career takes over.

You begin to focus so intensely on your career that you begin to ignore your spouse. They come home to a loveless marriage they don’t know how to correct.

They put up with it for years because they believe you will change. They want to see you be successful. 

But they also want you at home with them. They want things to be the way they used to be. 

What was that?

  • The nights spent cuddling on the couch
  • Cute text messages sent to remind them how much they’re loved
  • Holding their hand while you walk through the store
  • Gentleness and kindness

Those things are gone. They’ve been replaced with late-night calls to the office, a focus on your text messages going to coworkers, and a distance that seems too far to bridge.

Your career success is not worth this. It’s not worth your relationships with your spouse or your children. They’re falling victim to nights where they don’t feel or know your love.

You Can Get Back

You may not remember a time when your love for your spouse was clearly shown. Where you knew they felt your love. It breaks your heart.

But you can get back to those days. You can rekindle the flame and not let your career success blot out your family’s success. 

How can you get back to those times when your spouse felt loved and cared for? You can do the following:

  • Set clear boundaries between work and family: Don’t answer phone calls after 6 PM, unless truly an emergency. Stop texting constantly with your coworkers. When you’re home, you’re home.
  • Create regular date nights: Your spouse desires your presence. You can give them your presence and more! Find ways to create regular date nights that both of you will enjoy. It may be a night out at the movies, a nice dinner, or a walk through the park.
  • Be physical: I know what you’re thinking, especially if you’re a guy. I’m not talking about the bow chicka wow wow type of physicality. No, I’m talking about the holding your spouse’s hand, rubbing their back or feet, or resting your hand on their thigh. There’s something powerful in physical touch.

If you’ve lost that loving feeling because you’ve been chasing your career success for too long and hard, you can create a new rhythm in your life where you prioritize those family relationships that are important to you. Don’t be afraid to say, “I’m sorry, I messed up. I want to change.” But you can’t only say those words. You have to be willing to go back to the actions that made your spouse love you in the first place.

Work on your personal relationships, especially if they’re floundering in light of your career success.

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