Before I start this post, I want to say happy birthday to my beautiful bride. She turned 24 again for the umpteenth time yesterday. She’s a pillar of love and strength in our home. I love her more than I could ever convey.
And, if you think this is a strange way to start a post about superpowers, keep reading. I think it will make sense.
When you think of a leader’s superpower, what do you think of? Do you think of:
- His charisma?
- Her charm?
- His ability to calm a room?
- Her ability to “see” into the future?
- His way with words?
- Her ability to meet people where they’re at?
Those are all great superpowers of leaders. These superpowers will move you forward and keep you moving forward.
However, after reading Start With Your People by Brian Dixon, I believe we’re missing one of the greatest superpowers we have at our disposal: Our spouse.
He shares two sides of the coin. Our spouse can be our superpower. They can also be our Kryptonite.
Our Spouse As Kryptonite
We’ll start with the negative side of a spouse. Our spouse can be our Kryptonite. What does this mean?
Our spouse can be our Kryptonite when they’re against us.
We all know who Superman is. Do you know what Kryptonite is? Kryptonite is Superman’s weakness.
Lex Luthor, Superman’s arch-nemesis, has tried to use Kryptonite against Superman multiple times. Batman has a stash hidden in case Superman goes out of control.
Kryptonite is what can bring the Man Of Steel to his knees.
We all have the possibility of having Kryptonite in our lives. Our Kryptonite could be our spouse.
Your spouse may not believe in the organization you’re leading. Maybe she’s seen failure after failure and has given up on you. Or he might see your professional growth as a challenge against his ability to provide.
Our spouses become our Kryptonite when we’re not on the same page. They become our competition and our downfall. They also become our Kryptonite when they see our organization’s becoming a higher priority than they are.
When our spouses are our competition, we’re afraid. They’re afraid. It becomes about who is better than how to be better together.
Be careful if you find yourself unable to share your personal and professional goals with your spouse. If you find yourself in this situation, it is time for marital counseling.
Our Spouse As A Superpower
But… think about this… what if you and your spouse were on the same page? What if your spouse encouraged you to pursue your dreams while maintaining a great relationship with one another?
It’s possible. You can do this.
This is when your spouse becomes your superpower.
I don’t know about you but when Pam cheers me on in my blogging, it empowers me. Her encouraging words or gentle nudging helps me know I’m on the right path. Her words also help me feel like I can actually make it.
The encouragement you receive from your spouse will be better than anything you receive from anyone else. Their words will make you feel like Superman.
Our spouses can become our superpower. But you have to get on the same page.
How Your Spouse Can Become Your Superpower
You may struggle to see your spouse as a superpower but she is. You will also have to work hard to get to the point where your spouse is your superpower.
How do you do this? Your spouse can become your superpower when:
You share your dreams with her: When’s the last time you shared your life goals with your wife? Has it been a while? If so, why? If you’ve never experienced this, what’s stopping you?
Open up to your spouse. Share your hope and dreams with them. See how your dreams align with theirs.
You might be surprised. Her hopes and dreams may be more like yours than you think.
You pray with him: Prayer is a powerful tool. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Using your tongue to pray to the Almighty does a couple of things. First, you are lifting your needs and desires up to God. He listens and hears. Second, you’re coming together to pray for one another. His prayers will strengthen you. Third, you can open up to one another about your struggles in this intimate time.
You ask for feedback: This may be one of the hardest parts. You have to be willing to ask your wife for feedback. You need to be willing to listen and take her critique with humbleness.
Your wife will see areas in your leadership you will need to correct. Often times, these are blindspots you do not see.
Allow your wife to speak into your life and help you grow as a leader.
You are grateful: Yes, you need to be grateful. You need to be grateful for your wife, for her insights, for her prodding, and for all that she brings into the relationship.
If you’re not grateful for your spouse, she will recognize this.
Our gratefulness is a recognition of all the work our spouse does for us. It can be those encouraging words. It could be the Godly insight given. Or it may be the course correction he helped put you on.
When we show our spouses we’re grateful, we are recognizing their contribution. This will excite them and continue to encourage them to be a part of our journies.
Don’t dismiss the power of gratefulness.