Today, I am writing as a contributor to the Christian Writers Blog Chain. The theme for March is “Savor.” If you are a Christian author or writer, be sure to check out Christianwriters.com to network with others.
The statistics for marriages can be downright disappointing.
Divorce is widespread. Affairs and flings appear to be common. Married couples are at an all-time low.
It may seem that marriages are dying and yours may be next.
But that doesn’t have to be the case. You can have an amazing marriage. It just takes a little bit of work.
Are you willing to put in the effort?
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
— Doug Larson
Here are five ways to save your marriage and savor the relationship:
- Let your spouse spend time with their friends: As much as I like spending time with my wife, there are times when I know I need to be around other people.
My friends have qualities that my wife does not.
They can be competitive. They are rougher than my wife. They are wild.
They bring out different parts of my personality. They allow me to express myself in a different way.
When I come back, I feel like a better husband.
Try it and I’m sure you will too.
- Get them something they will enjoy: Buy her some flowers. Take her out to dinner. Get her a card.
Your spouse will appreciate the small gifts and actions you take towards her. She’ll see the care and time you put into making her feel special.
- Be active with your spouse: Pam and I have been taking frequent walks after dinner. It has helped improve our relationship and I know it can help yours.
Walking allows us to touch base and reconnect. We’re able to discuss our day and the thoughts we’ve had. We also point out houses, cars, etc that we like as we walk past them
This helps us to get to know each other better.
We also do more physically demanding activities. Cross-country skiing, hiking, and backpacking are a few that we have done.
When you’re doing these activities as a couple, you have to watch for signals that both of you are giving off.
Are you going to fast for your spouse to keep? Is this trail too aggressive? Is your spouse getting tired?
By watching and being attentive, you’ll learn the signs they give off. Not only will this help you out on the trails, it will help you recognize the signs during everyday life.
- Do small acts of kindness: Rub her back. Make dinner for her. Make her something special.
Little things go a long way to increase the quality of your marriage. Letting her know you care and did something to make her feel special will bring lasting results.
- Spend Time Apart From Each Other: This is similar to item one but it needs to be said.
There’s an old saying “Time apart makes the heart grow fonder.” And I must say it is true.
During the first 6 years of our marriage, my wife had a grueling work schedule. She would leave the house at 7am and return at 7 or 8pm. With these hours, there was little time for us to spend together. And it’s not something I would recommend for other couples.
This wreaked havoc in our marriage but it also did something else. It caused me to savor the moments her and I were able to spend together. Those moments seemed sweeter. They were special. They were treasured.
Now that her schedule is at a slower pace and not the 50+ hours a week she was working, we can take for granted the time we have together. So we have to allow ourselves to take some time away just for ourselves. Whether it be a few hours or a weekend trip, the time apart makes us long to be together again.
When we come back together, there are sparks and the passion is much easier to rekindle.
As you can see, creating a relationship that you can savor will take some work. But in the end it will be worth it.
You’ll have a constant companion. Someone you can rely on. To share your burdens with. To enjoy life with.
You’ll have a relationship you will savor.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
— Mignon McLaughlin
Question: Do you savor your marriage relationship? If you’re not married, do you have relationships that you savor? How do you maintain this feeling? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.