You know I’m a huge movie fan. You also know I love to share leadership lessons from the movies in the Reel Leadership series. In those articles, I share leadership lessons from the movies and how they can impact your leadership.
Today, I want to shift gears from leadership lessons to relationship lessons from the movies.
Movies are chockfull of relationship lessons. And today we’re going to take a look at 5 movies and the relationship lessons they can teach you.
Relationship Lessons From The Movies
1. Relationships take effort:
Do you remember the Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore film 50 First Dates? In this film, Sandler plays Henry Roth, a man smitten by the stunning Lucy Whitmore (played by Barrymore). The two have an amazing first date… Then Henry learns a crushing truth about Lucy.
Lucy has short-term memory loss. The date they had the night before? She can’t remember the date. Or Henry.
Day after day, Henry pursues Lucy. Day after day, Lucy forgets Henry. Yet Henry won’t give up.
He realizes relationships take effort. You have to put into your relationships what you want to get out. And Henry does this throughout 50 First Dates.
Think about your relationships. Are you willing to go above and beyond to stay friends with those you care about? Are you willing to show love when your spouse is unwilling to love you?
This extra effort is what will make your relationships special. By putting in the effort, you’re building meaningful connections with those you care about. Even if they don’t reciprocate at first.
Be willing to put in the effort for great relationships. It will pay off in the end.
2. You can choose your family:
There are two families you will have in your life: The family you’re born with and the family you choose.
We see this relationship lesson in the movie series The Fast And The Furious. Brian O’Connor (Paul Walker), Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Ludacris), and others members of The Fast And The Furious crew considered themselves family. Though only two of the members were family.
They didn’t let blood stand in their way. Instead, they brought new members into their family.
You can too. You can choose your family and who you want in your life.
Choose carefully though. The people you let into your life will direct the course of your life.
Bring people who will lift you up. Find people who will care for you. Seek out people who will speak truth into your life.
These people are the ones who will become your extended family.
3. Fight for the ones you love:
Too often people will give up on the ones they love. They’ll see a hurdle or a roadblock appear in their relationship. Rather than fight, they run.
This wasn’t John McClane’s (Bruce Willis) approach in Die Hard. No, McClane fought for his wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia).
When Alan Rickman’s Hans Gruber took the Nakatomi Plaza partygoers captive, McClane chooses to step up and fight. He fought off the terrorists and won back his love.
Every relationship will face rocky times. You can’t avoid this aspect of relationships. People grow and they change and they have disagreements.
Rather than running, learn to fight for your spouse. Get counseling, do kind acts, show them you care. Find ways to fight for them.
4. Don’t let your feelings cloud sound judgment:
Many relationships begin with rose-colored glasses. You see your beloved with a lens that shows only their positive side.
Anna (Kristin Bell) fell for Hans (Santino Fontana). Hans was a player. He had no real interest in Anna yet Anna couldn’t see this because she let her feelings cloud her judgment.
As you enter into a new relationship, guard your heart. For within it springs life and that life can be crushed by an abusive or uncaring partner.
5. You will lose your loved ones:
In Captain America: Civil War and Black Panther we see the death of T’Challa’s (Chadwick Boseman) father T’Chaka (John Khani). The pair were close and the death impacted the course of T’Challa’s life.
While we may think our loved ones will be with us forever, they will not. There’s a good chance you will lose a loved one before you pass away. This means others will lose you as a loved one as well.
Time takes us all. And we have to be ready to accept that death will bring an end to some of our relationships. It’s a relationship lesson no one wants to learn or deal with. Still, death happens and you have to be prepared.
This doesn’t mean you don’t continue to build and maintain relationships. Oh no, you need to form a strong community around you. Don’t let death stop you from having important life-long relationships.