When you get married, your focus shifts from yourself to your spouse. It is one of the most important relationships that you will have. Your relationship with your spouse will also affect the quality of your leadership.
In EntreLeadership, Dave Ramsey talks about the spousal interview. During the hiring process Dave will require an interview with the spouse of the prospective employee. He does this to see if the prospect is married to ‘crazy.’ That is someone who makes life miserable, has a bad attitude, or is high maintenance.
Your spouse requires a lot of time and effort. Crazy spouses and bad relationships require even more time and effort.
If you have a crazy spouse it will drain on your leadership skills.
Nagging, bickering, and pettiness will drain your energy.
Your focus will be off. It will be on her and keeping her happy rather than leading to the best of your ability.
Hopefully your spouse is not crazy. If she is, I feel for you. It is rough.
But things can change. You can work on it.
- Encourage your spouse:
Let them know what they do great. Lift them up and let them know you value their effort. They may not feel good about themselves and need the self-image boost.
- Show the good:
When you see things that are right in the world, mention it to her. Help her to see that things are good. That the world is not out to get her. Paranoia may be what is causing the crazy.
- Go live on a rooftop:
Sometimes it is best to get out of the house. Even the Bible says “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Now, I am not saying to leave your husband or wife, but sometimes it is best to get out of the house.
Now hopefully your spouse is great. How can you tell?
- Encourage you?
They uplift and praise your good ideas. They let you know they believe in you and what you are doing.
- Have your back?
When they overhear another person talking negative about you, do they jump to your defense?
- Give you space?
While it is great to spend time with your spouse, sometimes you need time away. Does your spouse allow you to do this? Does she encourage you to do it?
With a great spouse you will go further, faster. The encouragement and love they bring to the relationship will empower you and refresh you.
Question: How important is your spouse to your leadership ability? Can you think of any other ways that your marriage affects your leadership? Please share your thoughts and ideas in the comment section below.