Archives For relationships

Is there a sadder thing than a man who believes he has die-hard friends only to discover those friends really weren’t his friends?

People believe they have great friendships all the time. These so-called friends lap praise upon praise. They’re told they can do no wrong…

What is a true friend?

My question: Is that really a friendship? Or is it a recipe for disaster?

Real Friends Do This

Having people who tell you how great you are, feels good. Real good.

Our egos get a boost. We feel like we’re on cloud 9. We might be.

And real friends do give us compliments and encourage us. They tell us when we’re doing good. When we’re rocking it.

Real friends also do something else.

When we have true-blue friends, they know us well enough to call us out on the carpet.

I always tend to go back to a famous Jim Rohn quote. You know the one.

You are the average of the 5 people you hang around with the most

In the online world, we often associate that with surrounding ourselves with the people we want to be around.

The successful ones. The businessman (or woman). The creator or doer.

Who are you partnering with?

Those are great people to be around. They’re going to help propel your success.

What We Forget

While we’re trying to slide into the IN crowd, we forget something. We can easily let our sense of right or wrong slip away.

Or maybe it was never there to begin with.

Years ago, I remember attending a webinar for someone I highly admired. I was stoked to see him succeed.

Then I began to watch the webinar. And I was surprised by the co-presenter.

There are leaders who lead by title only.

You know the ones. They push forward through threats of intimidation and power grabs.

No one really likes them. Yet they continue to work for them because of fear.

titles are unimportant, this is

Title Means Nothing

People have had titles bestowed upon them for ages. Sometimes they’re right to give the title. Other times they’re not.

They give a title so someone who’s looking for power or wealth. This person feels entitled and abuses the title.

So much so, others see through the veneer. And they begin to revolt.

These followers might not tell the leader by title only their thoughts. Rather they may:

Stop working hard

Begin talking behind the leadership’s back

Look for new work

Plot to overthrow the current leader

We can all rule by title. We can’t lead by title alone, though.

One of the things I’ve struggled with as a youth leader has been how we call others to a saving knowledge of Christ. It always seemed so hooky.

The typical way we present Christ is through a message on a Sunday morning or Wednesday night. We share about Christ’s work and then invite people to accept Him into their hearts.

That or we do run-and-gun missionary work. This is where you hit the streets, tell the world they’re sinners, and try to get them to repent.

Build relationships, build followers

Image via Sam Beebe

Now, these methods have worked, or seemed to work, for quite some time. But I’ve always wondered if there was a better way to promote the Gospel and tell of what Christ has done.

My friend, Dave Arnold, recently released his new book titled Building Friendships: The Foundation For Missional Engagement. And his book hit on something that’s been stirring within me.

Your gut rumbles. Deep down you feel something is off.

But you brush off the feeling.

The blame is placed on the bad Chinese food you had last night or the spicy chili you had for breakfast. The gut rumblings are more physical than intellectual. Or so you tell yourself.

Listen To Your Gut

God has given us an incredible intuition. Even without knowing all of the facts, we can often tell when there’s danger or something isn’t right.

You know what I’m talking about…

The scared feeling you have walking down a darkened alley

The inability to breath as you jump out of a perfectly good airplane

The small voice in the back of your head telling you you’re about to make a bad decision

Your intuition is trying to tell you something. That’s the gut rumblings I’m talking about.