How Leadership Is A Relationship

For many, thinking of leadership as a relationship is difficult. Too many people consider leadership a position, a role to play. Yet leadership is much more than the day to day activities you partake in to run your organization.

Leadership positions are positions of relationship

Let’s take a surface level look at the relationship between leadership and relationship and then dig deeper.

John Maxwell has a famous quote. Maxwell often says:

Leadership is influence —nothing more, nothing less.

When I frame leadership as influence, I begin to think about influence and what influence means.

What Is Influence?

This is a great question to ask. You need to realize what influence is before you can get into the meat of “Leadership is influence.”

A quick search for the definition of influence returns the following result:

Influence is the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone…

Know Your Customer

Imagine walking into your favorite store. The owner greets you by name. Asks how your spouse is doing. Inquires about new events in your life. They get to know their customer.

You’d be pretty impressed, wouldn’t you?

This is the type of service I love to receive from the stores I visit. Personal, friendly, hometown.

There’s two places locally that I receive this type of service.

The first is an old-time candy shop called Lakeside Emporium. It’s run by Gary and Lori. Whenever we walk into the store, a few things happen.

  • We’re greeted by name
  • If my wife is not with me (or I’m not with her) they will ask us where she is and how she’s doing
  • They ask if I want my regular treat. That would be a bear claw for me

The Most Important Impression

You often hear that first impressions are the most important. You only have one to make.

And while first impressions are important, I don’t believe they’re the most important.

It’s the most recent negative impression that’s the most important.

Image by Jan Tik

Let me share a story with you.

When I started to improve my fitness level, I started to eat yogurt. Every weekday I would enjoy a cup.

For almost a year everything was great. My opinion of the yogurt company continued to rise as I had a positive experience.

But something happened a couple of weeks ago.

I opened a cup and scooped the yogurt off of the lid. The spoon touched my tongue and I almost gagged.

While the yogurt on the lid looked normal, the yogurt inside of the cup had started to mold. It no longer tasted like strawberry banana but of mold.