Find A Pain Partner

In my interview with former pastor Sam Chand, we talked about finding a pain partner to walk through life with.

Ever since this interview, this idea has really intrigued me.

What Is A Pain Partner?

You’ve got to settle on your own definition of what a pain partner is. It’s unique to every person and how they want to live out their lives.

For me, my pain partner will:

Be willing to listen to me when I hurt

Be someone I can open up to about difficult situations in life

Be a person I can call day or night

Be understanding that we all fail at one point or another

Be able to listen without judgement

Your pain partner needs to be someone you can trust and someone you can contact at any time.

I believe that’s one thing that shouldn’t be negotiable. When you’re in pain, you need someone that’s available.

Why Have A Pain Partner?

We hear stories every day of pastors who fail or burn out. We see friends and family members get divorced. We know hurting people all around us.

In fact, we’re closer to being in any of the previous situations than any of us would like to admit.

While we’re strong, we’re also weak. We have our vices. We are tempted and tried.

And that’s why we need a pain partner in our lives.

Your pain partner will be someone you can lean on. Your pain partner will be someone you call when things are tough. Your pain partner will be someone you will be closer than a brother.

Your pain partner will be someone you who calls you out when you need it most.

How To Find A Pain Partner

Finding a pain partner is much like finding a mentor.

It takes intentionality. It takes seeking. It takes asking.

When you begin looking for someone to help you carry the burden of your pain, you can find someone by:

Watching the lives of those around you. Find someone who’s living a lifestyle you agree with.

Making the ask of the other person. You won’t know if they’ll stand next to you unless you ask. Speak up and pitch the idea.

Being open and honest. Finding a pain partner won’t work unless you’re willing to be open and honest about the crap you’re going through. Your partner is there to listen to you and support you. Don’t withhold!

Having a pain partner won’t be easy. You’ll be left exposed and vulnerable. But in a good way.

Rather than being vulnerable to the sin around us, you’ll be vulnerable in a confessional way. And that’s good.

We need people to rely on when our lives get heavy.

Question: Do you have a pain partner you walk through life with? Why or why not? Let’s talk about it in the comments section below.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Pain partners are more difficult than mentors. Granted I don’t have much experience with either (for you mentors out there) but making oneself vulnerable is not a comfortable thing for many of us. Look forward to reading others’ thoughts on the matter.

    • So very true, Charles. Trying to find someone to walk through your pain with you can be very difficult. There are trust issues and the vulnerability aspect you brought up. Yet, they’re so crucial for us to live a whole life.

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