Dr. Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past thirteen years studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame… She is also the author of Rising Strong.
If you are brave enough, often enough we are going to fall.
The Wrong Response
When Brene Brown talks to corporations, she often hears the wrong response to falling. The typical business response is: We’re okay with the possibility of falling.
No, no, and no…
It’s not that there’s a possibility of falling. You can’t got into braveness with that mindset. You must go into braveness with the mindset that YOU WILL FALL.
And it’s okay.
3 Ways Of Managing Shame
We back away
We people please
We come out swinging
We Prepare Wrong
As Brene Brown was preparing for a talk at HubSpot, she came across a tweet that shattered her confidence. An employee tweeted: What is Brene Brown doing at Hubspot?
Instantly, there was shame and anger. She was pissed off.
Her mind went directly to ways she could smackdown this “jerk” who didn’t think she was good enough to speak at HubSpot.
Only her preparation for this smackdown was the wrong response.
Why?
Because she didn’t know the whole story. She didn’t realize he was PRAISING her rather than KNOCKING her.
His tweet was in addition to a blog post he had written. In this post, he talked about how her work had changed his life.
WHOOPS! Talk about a shame moment.
How To Get Over Your Falls
Recognize when you’re triggered by emotion – This is a hard thing for us. Most of us were not raised in a family where we were cognizant of our emotions or the inquistion about emotions.
And yet this is the first key to getting over our falls.
We are better at hurting other people than pausing and figuring out why we are hurting.
Rumble with the story we are making up – When we’re in the midst of the fall, our brains want a story. It quickly goes to the worse case scenario.
John is a jerk. Sarah is constantly trying to sabotage us. The church down the street wants to take over.
We need to rumble with these stories. And there’s no way we can overcome our falls without fighting the stories we tell ourselves.
In the absence of data that explains what is happening, we make up stories.
Revolution – As we begin to recognize and rumble with our stories, a revolution happens. We see our responses can be changed. The can be better. We can respond differently.
Revolutionize your life.
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