You Can’t Rush Trust

March 29, 2014 — 9 Comments
You Can’t Rush Trust | Joseph Lalonde

Four years ago, I engaged in a relationship with a new client that held incredible promise. I completed a full insurance proposal to address additional insurance needs and presented the options for diversifying his accounts. If we were able to place these policies, it would represent the largest single transaction in my 10-year history. As I made the presentation, everything went perfectly and the options looked great.

The client didn’t take any of them.

Not a reduced option. Not a different option. None.

For a long time, I thought my efforts had been a huge waste of time.

Still, I maintained a relationship with the client and continued to help them with other, albeit smaller services. About two years later, I got a promising call.

“Matt, can you look into this for us again?”

They wanted to revisit the proposal. I was so excited as the hope of the sale began to rise.

I presented the materials again, only to be met with the same answer; NO.

I retreated, questioning every detail.

What had I done wrong?

Both times, the presentation was flawless and met the client’s every need. And this second time, they had sought me out!

When I asked the client why, he simply said, “it just didn’t work.”

I was baffled and at times, cynical as to why I even poured time into these dead-ends.

Then, last year, through circumstances and life events well out of my control, the client came back a third time.

I went in thinking “If this is strike three, I’m out.

However, this time the results were different. At this meeting, the clients purchased and it represented the single largest sale of my career; a six-figure deposit.

As we sat down to go through the details, I made a bold move.

I asked the client why!

His answer amazed me.

“Matt, I initially said no to this, but you never stopped the conversation and you never stopped helping me when I asked. In essence, it took us time, but we began to trust you. Listen, that’s what sales are made of, trust. But, always remember, you can’t rush it.”

The experience reminded me of something I desperately needed to hear: “You can’t rush trust.”

At it’s core, true leadership occurs in the context of a relationship.

At the core of relationships is trust.

Following that thought process leads me to recognize that leadership is about building, earning and maintaining the trust of those you lead.

As my client reminded me, though, you can’t rush the process.

All too often, we want to microwave our leadership, rushing the process because we want the desired outcome. But trust established without foundation is too easily broken. This can be seen in the rise and fall of fly-by-night leaders.

However, the difference makers and the needle movers have been paving their leadership success one brick of trust at a time. Year after year, their foundation of trust is established, created by a relationship with those they lead.

A foundation of trust.

Personally, I sit in a position of trust as my forthcoming book, “You Make My Life Rich,” is going through editing and revision, I feel myself wanting it to be ready now. However, I remember what I learned last year.

You can’t rush trust.

Can you think of a time when you tried to rush trust? How did it turn out? What’s an example of a trusting relationship—personal or professional—that took you years to build? Share that experience in the comment section below.

This is a guest post by Matt Ham is a follower of Christ and lives in his hometown of Wilmington, North Carolina. Along with his wife, Liz, they have three boys: Matthew Jr, Wyatt and Greyson. Matt blogs at www.mattham.com where he writes about the importance of defining your life, particularly the concept of redefining what it means to be rich. His newly released eBook “I Am Here: Becoming Unbroken” (which you can get for free here) will help you discover how you are defining your life and give you insight on how to clearly pursue your purpose. His forthcoming book, “You Make My Life Rich” will take you on a journey to define the principles of richness. You can find Matt and join a rich community here.

By the way, I’m always looking for guest posters. If you would like to guest post, you can find the guidelines at An Invitation To Guest Post.

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  • http://www.tammyhelfrich.com/ Tammy Helfrich

    Great to see you here, Matt! I completely agree. You can’t rush trust. Very few people take the time to develop a relationship, and move on to the next big thing. Great post.

    • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

      Tammy, thanks for stopping by and checking out Matt’s post. Trust is something we all have to work on. How do you develop relationships and trust?

    • http://www.mattham.com/ Matt Ham

      I was glad to see me too! Folks thinks trust and control work in competition with each other, but they don’t do they?

  • Shing Degano

    “One brick of trust at a time” could be the gravitating content of this post. We can never overlook the driving force to landing a good business deal that is, continued open communication with or without a tangible financial contract. Trust is one that is earned and replicated in abundance in its due season.

    • http://www.mattham.com/ Matt Ham

      Shing you’re absolutely right. To use a football analogy, we see the endzone (goal) but lose focus on first downs (how we get there). The key is figuring out the little bricks along the way.

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  • http://www.crazyenoughtotry.com/ Ryan Bonaparte

    This was a great story, Matt, and a great reminder that persistence and patience are key foundations. I think we generally underestimate how big and how powerful a concept trust is, even in our daily relationships.

  • http://jonstolpe.com/ Jon Stolpe

    Matt, I can relate to your story as I’m working on my own book project. Thanks for an encouraging reminder.