3 Ways Leaders Can Overcome Jealousy

December 9, 2013 — 6 Comments
3 Ways Leaders Can Overcome Jealousy | Joseph Lalonde

Is there anything uglier than a jealous leader? A leader who has to be in control all of the time. Who can’t trust his team to do their job. Someone who has to oversee every little detail.

I’m not sure there is. And, as a leader, you better be sure you’re working to rid yourself of jealous.

Leaders can overcome jealousy. It’s possible, and I know you can do it.

The jealous green monsters

Image by Pascal

So, how does a leader overcome jealousy? It’s going to take focus. You’re going to have to be an intentional leader as jealousy can creep in undetected.

That’s what causes the downfall of so many leaders. They’re willing to give into jealousy and destroy their ability to influence positively.

Jealousy is a disease that will eat away at you. You’ll neglect relationships. You’ll hold on too tight. You’ll find yourself frustrated all of the time.

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.
– William Penn

There are steps you can take to overcome jealously. In fact, here are 3 ways you can beat jealousy in leadership.

1. Improve yourself: Leaders can become jealous when they see other leaders succeeding and moving forward with their goals. You may also see other leaders learning new skills and advancing in their careers.

The green-eyed monster begins to creep in. You can feel it.

You can defeat jealousy this time by improving yourself. Take the time to work on yourself.

Gain education. Learn a new hobby. Do something you haven’t done before.

Find ways to improve yourself and you’ll begin to see the jealousy monster shrink.

2. Learn to let go: Jealousy can come at us because we’re holding on too tight. It might be in a relationship. Or someone might have stolen your key employee. Or it could be the other leader just purchased a new Ford Mustang.

Whatever it is, we’re trying to hold onto something. Feelings… Talent… Desire…

We’ve got our hands grasping to keep something to ourselves.

Maybe it’s time to let go. Break off the relationship (Now, if you’re married, this doesn’t apply. We should work to keep our marriages together).

Free the employee of any guilt for leaving. Let them know you’re proud of them. You’re glad to see their advancement.

Let go of the feeling of superiority. Image isn’t everything. Let him have his toys.

3. Ask yourself why you’re jealous: Sometimes all it takes to break us of our jealousy is to ask ourselves Why?

When you’re able to think through the situation, you’ll discover your jealousy doesn’t make sense. It’s silly or petty.

Dig deep and find the root cause of jealousy. You’ll soon find what you need t do when you uncover why.

Don’t waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.
– Mary Schmich

Don’t let jealousy nibble away at your effectiveness to influence others in a positive way. Fight back. Don’t give in.

Knock jealousy to the curb.

Question: How has jealousy affected you or a leader you know? What could have been done to prevent that? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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  • http://leadershipheartcoaching.com/ Bill Benoist /Leadership Heart

    This was a difficult post to consider because admitting to jealousy is not a pretty thought. With that said, I think we’ve all been there one time or another.

    I think priorities are an important consideration. For example, if my priority is to save up for an Alaska vacation next summer, I need to keep that goal in focus when I see
    you coming home in a new Lexus. If my priority was a Lexus too, then maybe I need to re-examine my strategies.

    On a personal note, I try to remember what is really important in life and tell myself there is no luggage rack on the hearse.

    • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

      I like your way of thinking and framing what your goal is instead of what someone else has gotten. This can go a long way in stemming jealousy!

  • Let’s Grow Leaders

    I find when people are jealous, they’re often hurting in some way… something is missing, and that need surfaces in odd ways. It may require some deep digging, but real leaders must work on their own stuff in order to serve others. No one wants to follow jealous.

    • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

      Great observation. I can see that being true. How can we help those hurting people to overcome and get rid of the jealousy?

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